Tuesday, September 2, 2008

The flies that circle in my house are not as cute as the fly on the above pencil, and hence the violence which befalls them will not be as shocking if you try and picture those nasty, black, germ filled buzzing insects that fly into your food or eye. And we all know where those sticky, prickly feet have recently been; does fecal matter come to mind? (a new phrase used by my second son to annoy me)
"Hand me a Towel!", I scream, when I see that sickening menace. As if by instinct, I grab the closest towel, or piece of cloth that I can put my hands on and then I take to flailing about with uncontrolled passion. The cloth smacks the kitchen counter and knocks down the mixmaster, the loaf of bread, and assorted utensils.
Unsuccessful - Curses!
I next whomp the window sill, knocking down my beloved shells, beloved crystals, and beloved Tiffany glass rendering. You see, even my treasured collections are not safe when the almost insane frenzy of murder overtakes me.
Unsuccessful - Rats!
Don't worry, no loss of worldly goods will stop me on my quest for...
at this point Roy pins my arms to my side and eventually calms me as he persuades me that he has a better record than me, and so I resignedly pass the towel.
The fly is killed, time passes, and the next day I hear-
"Hand me a towel!", Chase, my 3 yr. old grandson bellows. Oooooooh what joy consumes my bosom knowing that important traditions are being passed along.

6 comments:

angie said...

love this book...and diary of a worm is good too...

Michelle said...

i miss you so much, you're wonderful!

Anonymous said...

This charming germophobia must be trans-generational. I too am a fly-o-phobic. A young child in Utah was just in the news after a major hospital stay resulting from the bite of a horse fly. I knew our fears were rational.
Love you always, Susan

Ann said...

lucy is not even 2 and already runs into the kitchen, grabs my dish towels, and starts whacking away shouting 'FLY! FLY!' and by the way-she does this everyday, not just when there's a fly. and to add to the fears that i've passed on, if she sees a stray piece of grass or a dust-bunny on the floor, she'll run to me with a terrified look on her face saying, 'FLY! FLY!' ahhh, my work here is done!

RATCH! said...

I love this post, you made me me giggle and grin! My fear (others say irrational and I say it is completely rational) of spiders is being nicely passed on to my children. :)

Roy said...

Just read it and enjoyed the laugh. DO NOT turn Chasie loose with a slashing smashing towel. Love your writing.